I understand people grow apart and don’t always stay friends forever, but I never thought that was us. I whole-heartedly thought you would be the Maid of Honor at my wedding, the godmother of my children and my partner in crime at the nursing home. You didn’t have the same mindset though and that’s okay. Our lives went in two different directions and even though I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so much, know that I’ll never hate you. My heart was broken the day you decided I wasnt good enough for you, it broke again when you told me how horrible of a person I was, and it broke a third time when you told me not to contact you anymore. I’ll never hate you though.
All I want for you is a life full of happiness and love. I want you to take a stand for yourself and never let anyone walk over you. I want you to be strong and independent. I want this life to give you everything you want. Even if that’s not me.
I’ll always cherish our friendship and one day I’ll stop referring to you as “my friend” when I tell stories, but for now I still care. And one day I hope you realize that I was always there for you.
You’re a good person, don’t forget that.
“Everyone’s doing it”.. that’s what I was always told. Everyone was doing it and hell, even my college roommate was doing it.. right under our bunked beds I may add. It’s not like I didn’t have opportunities or relationships that it could have easily happend with. I even put myself in situations where saying “No” was a tough decision, in full disclosure alcohol was normally involved. However, I waited.
I did not wait for reasons most people think though. I didn’t wait for religious reasons. I didn’t wait because my parents told me it was the right thing to do. I waited because I wanted to. I wanted to wait until I met the one guy who knew me better than I knew myself. The guy who loved me for my physical and mental imperfections. The guy who no matter what would hold my hand and help me through life’s toughest moments. So I waited, until I met him.
I didn’t wait until I was married or until I was engaged but I did wait until I was in love and with the person I wanted to spend forever with.
Now the reason I’m telling you all this is because today it is so common for girls to have sex, not because they are in love, but because they think they should. Their best friend is doing it, TV shows are encouraging it, we have terms like “f*ck buddies” and one night stands are ‘cool’. Sex is no longer special. Sex is just a hobby. We are encouraging girls to embrace their bodies and their sexuality all while ignoring their mental health. We don’t tell them that sex won’t make him love you and we don’t inform them that it’s more than just a physical game. It’s a connection, it’s a feeling, and it’s not something that needs to be given to everyone who smiles at you.
So embrace yourself. Love yourself. Remember your worth. And do what is right for you not for everyone else.