Dear Ex-Bestfriend

I understand people grow apart and don’t always stay friends forever, but I never thought that was us. I whole-heartedly thought you would be the Maid of Honor at my wedding, the godmother of my children and my partner in crime at the nursing home. You didn’t have the same mindset though and that’s okay. Our lives went in two different directions and even though I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so much, know that I’ll never hate you. My heart was broken the day you decided I wasnt good enough for you, it broke again when you told me how horrible of a person I was, and it broke a third time when you told me not to contact you anymore. I’ll never hate you though.

All I want for you is a life full of happiness and love. I want you to take a stand for yourself and never let anyone walk over you. I want you to be strong and independent. I want this life to give you everything you want. Even if that’s not me.

I’ll always cherish our friendship and one day I’ll stop referring to you as “my friend” when I tell stories, but for now I still care. And one day I hope you realize that I was always there for you.

You’re a good person, don’t forget that.

Love always,

Your ex-bestfriend


31 Things No One Told Me

Okay, the title is probably a lie. Chances are my parents, a teacher, or a random character on TV has told me these things before. However, in case no one has told you, here are 31 random things you should know.

1. No one owes you anything.

2. There is a difference between being someone’s family and sharing genetics.

3. Not everyone is your friend.

4. Not everyone is out to hurt you.

5. Being an adult is weird.

6. Dental insurance is not included in health insurance.

7. You will have more bills than friends.

8. Good friends are rare, but when you find them, keep them.

9. Christmas shopping is expensive.

10. Food is expensive.

11. Cheap bread tastes like cheap bread.

12. Decorating a house is more expensive than the house itself.

13. Never underestimate the power of a good hug.

14. Death is inevitable.

15. Life is short, adopt that animal.

16. Edward did not deserve Bella.

17. They say the number one fight in a marriage is money, this is wrong. It’s over bathroom habits.

18. Laundry sours very quickly.

19. Water is not free.

20. If your fingers and toes are not blue, there is no need to turn on the heat. (Electric is not free)

21. Do not get a pet fish if your attention span is the same length as said fish’s. (This is one of those that my parents told me and I did anyways and now I’ve had a fish for two years)

22. Unless you’re talking to God or someone directly affected, no one’s opinion matters.

23. You have fat, you are not fat.

24. Everything costs money.

25. The little things matter most.

26. Batteries are expensive.

27. It’s okay to say “no”.

28. It’s okay to be selfish from time to time.

29. It’s okay to enjoying being at home.

30. Wash your hair every other day, it makes it softer.

31. Coconut oil fixes everything.

Budgeting: As Told by a Broke, Married, College Student

Let’s start this one out by agreeing that money is stupid. It’s the number one cause for fights in a marriage and also one of the biggest challenges that the old men in Washington face. According to the University of California over 43 million Americans (13%) live below the poverty line. PRB then reports that 32% of Americans live in a low-income family. These percentages were given between 2011 and 2015, however, I would not be surprised if these percentages were the same or higher in 2017.

So, how do we fix this. What do we do to begin helping ourselves and families when it comes to managing our money?

Well I cannot tell you what to do, also I am by no means a financial advisor, but here’s what I’m doing.

Awhile back I took a family budgeting course that focused on Dave Ramsey, and let me tell you, that man knows what he’s doing.

One of his concepts involved an Envelope System. This is an all cash budgeting system where you separate your physical money into envelopes labeled with bills and other expenses.

Now, getting rid of credit cards and debit cards is practically impossible, especially when most bills are paid online. However, you can still use this budget system.

What I decided to do was first, take my credit card out of my wallet. Then I went out to buy a box of multi colored envelopes and separate them into categories: Orange is bills, Green is expenses, Yellow is savings and receipts, Pink is extra (fast food, date night, etc), and Blue is vacation. As a side note you will also need an Envelope for church, our church provides envelopes so we replace that one each Sunday and it sits on the corner of our envelope board.

Once I separated my envelopes I then labeled them. This resulted in 8 bills, 3 expenses, 1 saving, 1 receipt, 1 extra, 1 vacation, and 1 church.

As I said earlier, some bills are paid online, I still made an Envelope for them and wrote “online” under the label, that way we still had a physical representation to remind us to put money in our bank account.

The hardest part about the envelope system is knowing how much money to put where. This will 100% depend on you, your bills, and your income. However, what works for my family is this:

At the begining of the month I open my calender, open my notes and figure out what bills are due when, then estimate how much they should cost based on previous months. At the end of the month I compare my estimates with my total and adjust the next month after. My notes look something like this

After the monthly budget is intially set, we take each paycheck we receive that month and cash them. (The only deposits we make are to cover our credit cards and my student loan). We then take the cash home, put our church offering to the side, look at our notes and put enough money into each envelope that the bills in between paychecks are covered. After those bills are accounted for, we then put a small percentage into future bills, expenses, and savings. Whatever is left we use as extra. (As a side note I am a firm believer in having spending money. Budgeting should not make you feel like you cannot have fun or buy something extra! If after your immediate bills are paid, and you will have the money for upcoming bills and expenses then order that pizza! You deserve it!) After double checking all our envelopes and notes the physical management is done!

However, if you’re like me, cash is scary. I want to know where exactly it’s going, how much is being spent, and if we can better use that money in the future. This is why, I keep track of all income (paychecks, tips, refunds, etc) and expenses (gas, food, grocery, etc).

By doing this we become accountable for every dollar spent.

With this system of budgeting you will also come in contact with A LOT of change. Save it! Put it in a plastic zip lock, a jar, or something. Just save it. There have been times where we used change to go on a weekend trip. We’ve also had too much month and not enough money, so we used change to buy groceries. Either way change adds up. Save it.

To recap, leave the credit card at home, use cash and envelopes, be organized, be accountable, and always give to God first. This is only our third month using this system and it is working. We stopped over drawing our accounts, we have been able to pay bills that before were coverd by family, and we are improving.

In closing, I’m sorry this was so long, but I hope it helps! ❤

God first, important bills second, and everything falls into place.


If you have never experienced a Total Eclipse, I want you to imagine this.. 

You are sitting outside and its 94 degrees. The sun is shinning at such a brightness that you have to wear special glasses, your sunglasses just are not enough. As the clock ticks by you begin to see a shadow slowly swallowing the sun, little by little. 

In the last seconds before complete totality the ground turns into a kaleidoscope of shadows. Little snakes dancing to a tune we can not hear. The bright afternoon sky turns to Twilight and then before you can blink the sun is hidden; showing a slight ring of light that can only be described as transcending.

The temperature drops from a summer afternoon heat to a brisk fall evening. The birds begin to fly and sing songs of nightfall. There is a view of the sunset on all horizons.

Then it all goes still. The excitement and emotions begin to flood you. The angry world becomes a calm and peaceful fairytale. You are frozen with the love the moon and the sun have for one another. 

Then in a matter of minutes it’s over. The sun begins to shine again and the temperature spikes back to normal. The moments of tranquility are gone and you are filled with a sense of magic. Nothing will ever feel this serene again. 

Now come back to reality and know that God’s gift to a world of such chaos and immorality is moments. He gives us these moments of beauty and ardent emotion to bring us back to peace. Moments to thank Him and show love to one another while connecting with the Earth around us. 

Photo Cred: CLN Photography

An award about sunshine!? 

So this is new. Today I was nominated for the Sunshine Blogger award! This is basically an award by bloggers for bloggers representing the values of positivity and inspirationaly uplifiting content! 

I was nominated by Paige of! Paige is an amazing person who captures life through a camera and the struggles of living with anxiety through her blog. I linked her page above if you want to check it out! 

When accepting this nomonation you must answer 11 questions asked by your nominator and in turn nomimate another blogger with your own set of questions. I personally am not in contact with any other bloggers, besides Paige, so if you are a blogger I nominate you, because someone somewhere, looks up to your posts. 

My Responses:

1. How long have you been blogging?

I started this blog a year ago. However, I started journaling as soon as I learned how to write. 

2. What made you start blogging?

I started bloggong because I realized that I have a story to tell that is uniquely my own. Not a single person has had the exact same life experiences as I have. With that, I have also shared some experiences that others have been through and want them to know that life gets better and how I, personally, learned to grow from it. 

3. What is your favorite topic/category to blog about?

Easy, life. 

4. What is your favorite song at the moment?

My favorite song has been, and always will be, Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners. However, The Middle by JimmyEatWorld and Just Keep Breathing by We The Kings tie for a second favorite.

5. What other hobbies do you have?

Everything. I love doing everything at least once. I also really love watching TV though. 

6. Who inspires you most in life?

My biggest inspiration is Dave Pelzer, author of A Child Called ‘It’. I read his book when I was 13 and have read it about 100 times since then. It helps me grasp the concept of living life, as morbid as that may sound. If Dave was able to go through all of that torment and turn out to be an amazing man, what’s stopping me? 

7. What is your favorite weekend activity?

Hanging out with my husband and going on adventures. 

8. What is your favorite T.V. show?

100% Gilmore girls. Just call me Lorelei!

9. Where do you want to go at least once in your life?

Everywhere I can. I want to witness as many places, people, and cultures as possible before I die. 

10. Are you an early bird or a night owl?

More like a mid afternoon zombie. 

11. What blog post would you like to share with everyone

Out of the blog posts I have written I have two that are my favorites. My first is “Wait, You’re Deaf” and my second is “Married at 21”. So if you haven’t checked those out yet, you should ❤

So if you’re a blogger and you’re reading this, I nominate YOU. Here’s your questions:

1. Have you always loved to write?

2. What do you think your patronus would be and why?

3. What do you hope to accomplish through your blog?

4. What is your number one goal in life? 

5. What is your favorite movie?

6. If you had to give up chocolate or hard candy which would say “bye-bye” to?

7. Books or Movies?

8. Who is your favorite author?

9. If you could meet one celebrity who would you meet?

10. Dogs or cats?

11. If you could switch lives with one person who would you pick? 

Married at 21

No, I am not missing out on any experiences. 

I met him when I was 19 and married him when I was 21.

In the 19 years before I met him, I had a year of college under my belt, became a miniature alcholic, and I had two major heart breaks. I watched a sunset and sunrise within the same night. I danced in a fountain at two in the morning, after spending the day playing in the rain. I went to a church with no doctrine and I went to a church of the faith I always followed. I attempted to go to a French themed party, I say attempted because the cops arrived before I did. I went to a music festival. I wrote a poem. I put my heart on my sleeve, then returned it back safely to my chest. I built walls. I got lost. 

I spent 19 years not knowing who I was, or what I wanted. However, when I met him, I still had no idea who I was or what I wanted, but I knew I wanted to be it and to find it with him. 

He showed me that my “friends” only liked me when I was following their rules. 

He stayed with me when I did not even know how to stay with myself. 

I married my best friend at 21. We have game nights and movie marathons. We bake cupcakes and make gingerbread houses. We build puzzles and fight over that damned ‘Draw Four’ Uno card. He makes the nightmares go away and he understands that some days the darkness seeps in. 

We got married young so we could enjoy the rest of life together. So no, I am not missing out on life. I’m just bringing a permanent plus one. 

Wait, You’re Deaf!? 

So here’s the thing, let’s talk about something that is never talked about.. developing a disability. In our lives we talk about people who are born with disabilities and we talk about people who have obtained a disability through an accident; however, we never talk about people who have developed a disability due to an underlying condition. We don’t talk about what it’s like to slowly lose an ability you never thought you’d lose. So let’s talk about Otosclerosis. 

Otosclerosis is a genetic condition that causes the inner ear bones to slowly freeze over time, meaning they can no longer amplify sound by themselves. Thus, causing the effected person to require hearing aids in their day to day lives. 

Now, this doesn’t sound that bad, as long you have a hearing aid, you can hear. What’s bad is the process of losing your hearing before and after the diagnosis. Here’s my story:

When I was in highschool I had no idea that I had a “disability”, I thought my ears worked just like everyone else’s. I also thought that my left earphone was always broken. I would buy a new set of earphones about every two weeks because I thought the left one was faulty. It made no sense to me. Then one day I was sitting with my parents, complaining about the inconvience when they suggest I put the left, broken, earphone in my right ear.. It worked perfectly. That was when we decided to get my first hearing test. 

That first test gave us little results, they basically said that I could benefit from hearing aids, but it was not a necessity, so obviously I passed. I didn’t want to be labeled as a weirdo with hearing aids in highschool, it wasn’t fair. 

However, fast forward a few years and the word “what” becoming a staple in my vocabulary, I decided I needed to be checked again.. this time the results were different.

This test told us that my left ear was severely impaired and my right ear had mild impairment. After running a few more tests it was decided that I had Otosclerosis and would most likely be deaf by the time I was 24. So I had to make a decision. Be the college kid with hearing aids, or never hear again. As you can assume, I chose the hearing aids. 

Now, it’s amazing because I can hear all of these sounds I didn’t know existed before! Did you know that a blinker makes a noise? Or that when writing with a pencil you can hear the way it scrapes on the paper? Zipping up a bookbag actually makes a sound! The TV on volume 40 is actually really loud… and so many more things I hadn’t known or had forgotten. 

While there is this amazing upside to hearing aids there is also a few downfalls. When I take them out, I lose a majority of sounds. Talking on the phone is extremely difficult. If my hearing aid gets to close to something it gives an awful feedback. Also, insurance does not cover them.

According to the insurance companies hearing aids are not a need. You can live without them. My glasses are covered under insurance, but hearing aids that allow me to communicate and live a normal life are not. How is that allowed? How is it not a necessity? Without my hearing aids I don’t know where I would be. I wouldn’t have the job I have, I would not have the life I have, nothing would be the same. 

So long story short, sometimes life is not fair. Sometimes you lose an ability and sometimes insurance doesn’t cover it. However, I have become not only a much stronger person, but also a more understanding person. I no longer pitty people with hearing aids and I no longer see it as weird. I am a 21 year old with hearing aids. Why should that be weird? I mean I’m also a 21 year old with glasses. It’s the exact same thing. Both just enhance the quality of life. 

Back to the original statement of opening dialog and talking about what’s not talked about, I beg you, ask questions, seek answers, and never pitty. Losing an ability is hard, but overcoming the challenge is everything.